Ahh, summertime! For many of us this brings up nostalgic memories of sunshine and lazy days – days free of stress and rushing around. A time when children aren’t being hustled out of bed, rushed through breakfast and off to school. As our children look forward to the reprieve from school and anticipate a more relaxed schedule, we as parents remain aware of the many challenges, transitions, schedules and coverage needed when something goes awry. So, can those lazy, hazy days of summer still exist? If we decide every moment of our summer might not be perfect and doesn’t have to be, we can still strive to create one as relaxed and enjoyable as possible.
Let’s talk about expectations. By having realistic expectations – maybe even lowering them a little, you might avoid setting an event or child up for failure, and ensure success. Sometimes an attitude check is all we need. Do I have an unrealistic expectation due to a goal or dream of mine, not necessarily my child’s. Even when we have the best intentions in mind things don’t always go as planned, which leads to my next suggestion – be adaptable and flexible.
We have little control over most of what happens in life. When we are able to let go of the little things and accept change, which is inevitable, life gets a little easier. Having a plan B, doing the prep work to help things go smoothly and using some prevention strategies can go a long way in salvaging a situation that appears to be going downhill fast. In addition, flexibility and adaptability are two traits we would like our children to use when things don’t always go their way and what better way for them to acquire these skills other than watching their role models in action.
Also remember, putting a positive spin on a negative situation is all it takes sometimes to prevent a meltdown. Our children look to us and our reactions to figure out how they should behave. That’s why preparation and prevention are wonderful tools to keep in our toolbox. In addition, it is important for us to accept our children’s feelings of disappointment and acknowledge them, this allows them the opportunity to express those feelings and move on, rather than bottling them up and having an explosion at another time.
Just like adults, children like and need some control over their own lives. What choices can you give and which compromises can you make that are safe and with which you are comfortable. Giving our children the ability to make decisions, and supporting them when they need our help, is another positive way our children learn. Knowing where your child is developmentally and what they are capable of allows you to determine what kinds of decisions you can allow them to make. Making mistakes are all part of learning, coaching and cheering our children on let’s them know it’s okay to make mistakes, it’s natural and we all do.
So, if you noticed most of these suggestions were things you might already do and have worked for you in the past, keep in mind it is our thoughts, behavior and words that can make all the difference between a happy summer break or a breakdown. Having realistic and lowered expectations, being adaptable and flexible, using planning, preparation and prevention as tools, allowing for and accepting feelings and giving choices are all great strategies to implement this summer. Remember, have fun and don’t forget the sunscreen!