Parenting and Prevention

Building Self-Esteem in Children

By: Rosana Benitez

What Is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is the inherent value a person places on themselves, encompassing an internal sense of self-worth and confidence. In children, self-esteem can fluctuate, ranging from high to low. When a child has high self-esteem, they tend to have a positive overall view of themselves, feeling empowered to take risks and try new experiences. On the other hand, low self-esteem can leave a child feeling uncertain and insecure, often doubting their abilities and worth. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, causing them to hesitate in social situations and refrain from forming connections with others due to fear of rejection.

It’s essential to recognize that fluctuations in self-esteem are a normal part of childhood development. As children grow and navigate various situations, it’s normal for them to experience moments of self-doubt, shyness, and fear. These challenges, however, play a crucial role in helping children develop and refine their self-confidence and self-esteem over time.

How Does Self-Esteem Develop in Children?

The development of self-esteem in children is multi-faceted. It has to do with several other factors:

  • A child’s innate temperament and personality.
  • How they are parented.
  • Any external challenges they may encounter.

Having loving, available, and nurturing parents can shape a child’s self-esteem. As children grow and learn new skills, positive messages from parents about their child’s abilities help boost self-esteem. The way a parent helps children manage challenging situations, and the messages they give their children about their strength and competence, can also impact a child’s self-esteem.

How can parents help their children have High Self-Esteem?

If your child is struggling with low self-esteem, you aren’t powerless. There are simple things parents can do to nurture high self-esteem in their children. Here are some strategies to help children and teenagers develop strong self-esteem:

  • Praise your child, but do it with care. It’s important to praise a child’s effort, not just the outcome.
  • Encourage your child to try new things and to take on new and different challenges; emphasize the importance of trying and don’t dwell on perfection or the result.
  • Be a good self-esteem role model for your child; show them the power of taking risks, continuing to persist despite challenges, and not being weighed down by mistakes.
  • Don’t be too harsh with criticism; remember that the negative messages you send your child can become their negative self-talk.
  • Zero in on your child’s strengths whenever possible and praise your child when they have behaved well or accomplished something they wanted to accomplish.
  • Use Positive Affirmations with your child. The positive statements help you manage negative feelings, thoughts, and situations.

How Do Positive Affirmations Work?

A positive affirmation is an encouraging statement that you can repeat to yourself to challenge negative thoughts and improve your self-esteem.  These statements help to build confidence and elevate one’s sense of self in a healthy way – this is especially significant for young children as they begin to explore their feelings.

Simply take a few minutes out of each day, at a time that works best for both of you. The morning is ideal because it’s a great way to start the day on a positive note. If you can commit to the same time every day, it’s even better. This shared well-being practice also doubles as an opportunity for you to spend some quality time together. To get your child involved, allow them to choose one or two affirmations for themselves.

Some Positive Affirmations for Children

  • I am unique and special.
  • I am perfect the way I am.
  • Differences make us special.
  • I am loved.
  • I am safe and cared for.
  • I have many talents.
  • I can learn new things, or I can do this.
  • I will never give up.
  • I believe in myself.
  • It’s okay to be myself.
  • It’s okay to get things wrong.
  • It’s okay to ask for help.
  • It’s okay to feel all of my feelings.
  • It’s okay to cry.

Saying affirmations for peace regularly helps our brain to create positive responses to different circumstances. Although it may seem hard to believe, these short phrases can significantly change how our children perceive themselves and their surroundings.

As a parent, you have the power to positively impact your child’s self-esteem. By taking simple steps and using the tools and suggestions above, you can start making a difference in your child’s life today.  And what a wonderful effect it will have on the rest of your child’s life!

Rosana Benitez is a skilled Parenting Educator with Parenting Matters, bringing over a decade of experience and a Master’s degree in Psychology to her work with the Parent Partner Program. Since joining the organization in 2009 as a contractor and Care Coordinator for the Healthy Start program, Rosana has been a steadfast advocate for families. In her initial role, she supported high-risk pregnant women and newborns, helping them navigate critical early stages of life.

In her current role, Rosana goes beyond one-on-one education by teaching workshops and substituting for the ACT class, empowering parents with tools for success. Her deep knowledge of IDEA law allows her to serve as a strong advocate for parents and children, ensuring they receive essential services and support in school systems.